This week, I made the difficult decision to give my notice at Nerdy. After 2.2 years, I realized that my leadership style no longer aligns with the company’s current needs. While I am confident leaving is the right choice, it hasn’t been an easy week.

At our best, my tenure embodied the type of organization I always aspired to be part of. However, Nerdy has transitioned into a phase requiring highly tactical, directed work with centralized decision-making and frequent reprioritization. This contrasts sharply with my philosophy of creating highly autonomous teams with clear goals and strong ownership. Essentially, it became a case of me being a square peg in a round hole.

This realization dawned on me gradually over several months. Up until the weekend before I gave my notice, I was in denial, convincing myself it was just a temporary phase. I believed, somewhat arrogantly, that with my strong leadership, I could help guide us through it. However, a series of incidents, rather than a single event, ultimately convinced me that my vision was no longer aligned with reality. I clung to the dream of the organization I wanted to build, rather than accepting what it is.

Were it not for my father’s failing health, I might have persevered for several more months, hoping to realign the organization with my vision. However, as his condition deteriorates, I find myself in an impossible situation—juggling a demanding role while being the only person able to calm my father during his agitation. He is in stage 6 of 7 on the FAST scale of dementia, rapidly approaching the final stage. The decisions regarding his care are challenging and significantly impact my mental health. I cannot be there for him from 2am to 7am and then begin my workday at 7:30am.

So I chose him, because it’s the only decision that makes sense given my circumstances. I am privileged to be able to make this choice. No one else can fulfill my role in his care. Although stepping away from work with no plan is daunting at 50, especially in a challenging job market, it is the right decision.

However, attributing my decision solely to my father’s condition would be disingenuous. I know Nerdy would have supported me through these personal challenges. Ultimately, it still comes back to the fundamental mismatch: square peg, round hole.

In the end, life happens, and we support each other through its trials. I’m not the right fit, and unlike my younger self, I’m at peace with that. So we part ways, with me wishing Nerdy the best and mourning the dream I once had. I’ll forever be thankful to the people that I worked with and learned from. I’m a much better manager and human as a result of my time at Nerdy.

What’s next? Realistically, I’m in limbo until my father’s passing. I cannot start something new and I will need time to grieve. But I’ll take the time to learn my lessons from this experience and come back stronger.

Coincidentally, my best man was laid off on the same day I resigned. After work on Friday, we will head up to Lake Kachess, a place we’ve been visiting for 35 years, to relax, float, and ponder life. And so begins another chapter.

FAST scale